A Tribute to Fatherhood

Father and son
Yesterday Kathleen and I attended the funeral of a longstanding friend, Al Hill. During our trip home, we pondered his life as it informed the term, fatherhood.

It was evident that Al had a large circle of friends; the church was packed. He had also distinguished himself as a churchman and educator. Yet, it was his success as a father that lingered with us.

It was obvious that Al and Grace had raised three stalwart sons, all now in stable marriages with children to bless them and their grandparents. All this stayed with us as we drove.

One son’s tribute stood out. He said that his father had insisted that under all circumstances he and his two brothers respect their mother. The point was made repeatedly while they were growing up. The three boys were apparently reminded even in adulthood to “look after your mother.”

This reminded me of an episode with one of my own sons who in early adolescence had begun to show moments of veiled disrespect for his mother. I spoke to him about it. “She is not only your mother,” I told him sternly, “she is my wife, and I insist that my wife be respected.” The message given in that novel way registered. Today, this son and my other two children could not be more loving and solicitous of their mother’s well being.

Fatherhood should be more elevated in our world than it is for a variety of reasons: it is a divinely ordained assignment, a role deeply rooted in history, a widely-used positive metaphor, an honorable title, an art, a crucial social role — and a joy.

I will remember Al for his churchmanship. I will remember him for his good ideas. I will never forget the favor he did for our family when, as a school principal, he facilitated our daughter’s return to Canada to teach.

But, after the tributes we heard yesterday, I will honor him foremost in my memory for the way he embraced fatherhood as a sacred trust. And he did it well.

(More next week.)

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