Will Boys Become Men? — Part 3

Work is clearly a part of God’s mandate for a full life. Therefore, teaching children to work becomes a parental duty, and, in a supportive teaching role, the church’s responsibility too.

A century ago, at 13 years of age, in Lancashire, England, my father entered the coal mines to work alongside his father. During winter months he saw daylight only on Sundays. That was child labor.

Today in many cases the opposite extreme exists. A professional man in a highly technical position tells me that in his numerous employment interviews with well-trained candidates he all too often senses that their purpose rises no higher than an easy job, lavish lifestyle, and lots of money. He always asks candidates about their first jobs and finds that some he interviews had no work experience until college, and even then often at relatively undemanding jobs.

Avoiding both extremes, what can we glean from the Bible about work as a noble activity, belonging to mature manhood?

When Jesus returned to his home town after being away for some time, the townsmen asked, “Is not this the carpenter?” (Mk 6:3) Before leaving he had apparently identified himself by his work.

Likely somewhere between 12 and 30 years of age, under his earthly father’s tutelage, he had learned a craft (Matt 13:55). Later, he called his ministry of teaching and healing his work. He said: “My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I, too, am working” (Jn 5:17).

The Scriptures themselves make the importance of work clear. To some Thessalonian Christians who thought that Christ’s soon appearing made the routines of this life unimportant, Paul writes, “If a man will not work, he shall not eat” (II Thess. 3:8). And he exhorted slackers in the church to “settle down and earn the bread they eat” (II Thess. 3:12).

We can even draw from the Scriptures a theology of work:

The first worker was God – the Creator (Gen 1:1). At the end of creation he rested from “his work” (Gen 2:2,3). The second worker was the first man, Adam, who by the Lord God himself was assigned his work as a gardener in Eden (Gen 2:15). Then Adam and Eve’s first two sons Cain and Abel had occupations – one kept flocks, the other worked the soil (Gen 4:1,2).

It’s true that the Fall of man gave work a bitter-sweet quality. Because of sin, the ground in which food was to be raised was cursed and toil took on a painful aspect. Work was no longer to be sheer pleasure. Nevertheless, in the New Testament, work is seen by the Apostle Paul, the tent maker, as a noble and deserving activity: “Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands …” (1Thess 4:11).

All of this could suggest that very early, children should get their first lessons in contributing to family life by chores – making their own beds, setting the table for dinner, etc. Later on they may graduate to baby sitting, shovelling snow, mowing lawns, or delivering papers, and thence on toward an adult vocation.

Such a regimen should mean four things for parents: (1) limiting the time children spend on video games, TV gazing, text messaging, etc; (2) fathers working beside their boys from time to time to teach and show camaraderie in work; (3) some tasks assigned without pay to show that their boys share responsibility in the functioning of the home; and (4) reasonable monetary rewards given for other tasks so as to give a child pleasure in receiving the rewards work brings.

Blessed is the growing boy who lives in a family where work is given its rightful place in the spectrum of daily life; and who grows up accepting the challenge of work that is sometimes pleasant sometimes tedious but always a vocation for that time of life.

(If you are friends with a young married couple or a young family, please pass this blog on to them)

Will Boys Become Men? — Part 2

Is there a manhood crisis in our society? Those who study this subject seem repeatedly to say, in essence, “Yes, in numbers large enough to be troubling, men today are not “manning up.”

They say that too many appear to want nothing more than an easy job that pays well. They observe that many young men seem reluctant to launch a serious career because it would limit their freedoms. Furthermore, for some, the demands of marriage and fatherhood appear to frighten rather than challenge. The path to maturity seems arrested.

Certainly the manhood crisis is not universal. There are brave men who offer themselves freely in service to their country, and many young men from varied backgrounds are committed in their pursuits, including establishing a family, and treating life as a challenge worth pursuing.

Yet, it is a problem sufficiently large that it should engage every local church.

Thankfully, In Jesus we have the example of perfect manhood. Who of us is not moved in reading of Jesus’ strength in the face of severe mistreatment and at the same time his compassion in the presence of those he found suffering? Who is not drawn by his readiness to lay his life on the line for others? What an example to hold before the young!

Even more amazing is his offer to enter the lives of the young in a transforming way. This is called the New Birth or conversion. It is a moment of yielding oneself, at whatever level of understanding one has reached, to become a follower of Jesus. It includes a life-giving quickening of the Holy Spirit. Today I speak to that issue.

Jesus went to the Passover in Jerusalem for the first time at 12 years of age. ( Lk. 2:41-52). When his parents discovered that he was missing from the pilgrim band as it wended its way toward his home in Nazareth, his parents searched for him and found him in the temple. He was listening to the rabbis and engaging them with questions about the faith of Israel. In this awakening he called the temple, “My Father’s house.”

An adolescent conversion to Christ will not completely parallel that moment but a conversion can be a major step in a boy’s life toward becoming a man after God’s own heart. It may be as simple as his saying “yes” at his present level of understanding, or it may involve a complex struggle dealing with an awakening conscience or a resistant will.

In this struggle, the church has a role to play by instructing and coaching — all with patience and persistence. Jesus said, “Feed my lambs” (Jn 21:15) and that is the church’s ongoing assignment.

In the light of all this, a genuine conversion can set the stage for a life that unfolds with purpose and that moves toward a manhood that is strong and resolute. When an adolescent boy is led to know and follow Christ one can’t even guess what the life-shaping, long-term results will be.

Will Boys Become Men? — Part 1

“Boys will be Boys.” This is the title of a 1935 comedy but it has become a convenient way to comment on boys and men who disappoint those around them by their immature responses to life. Today should it be revised to say, “boys will be men,” because manhood ought to be the goal of every lad younger than 20 — but too often is not?

I’ve been pondering this for some time. With too many developing males, something is diminishing the forward surge. In 1970, men earned 60% of all college degrees. The figure had fallen to 50% by 1980 and by 2006 it was 43%. Women now surpass men in college degrees by almost three to one. (USA stats)

These facts are produced in William J. Bennett’s new book, The Book of Man: Readings on the Path to Manhood. For sure, not all men need to go to college. Nevertheless, it can be argued that these few facts alone point to a growing crisis in manhood in western civilization. In a summary sentence Bennett says, “For the first time in history, women are better educated, more ambitious and arguably more successful than men.”

In no way do I set this information out to diminish the laudable accomplishments of women during the 20th century and into the 21st. It is rather a cry of alarm over the shrinking of something we can call healthful manhood in our society. If boys are to be men, growing boys and young men need more help, more prompting, more encouragement than they are getting to “man up.”

Some argue that this critical state of affairs started with the Industrial Revolution of the 17th century when men’s work began to separate boys from their fathers. If so, it is too deep to be fixed by a lecture here or there or even a college course on masculinity. It will require some big and interacting shifts in the notion of true manhood itself.

Whenever it began, it appears to me that local churches — stations of the one universal church of Jesus Christ — have a foremost opportunity to contribute to the needed repair but they must catch the vision for it. They have resources — worshiping communities where all ages can intermingle, teachers of church school (both men and women) to point the way, and opportunities for mature, trustworthy men to share personally in the lives of growing boys and young men. In the Bible, they also have a large stable of heroes to be tapped into — Joseph, Caleb, Joshua, Jeremiah, Daniel, The Apostle Paul, Luke, and many others.

Above all else, they have Jesus, the Messiah, the perfect example of manhood. That fact deserves exploring. I will continue the development of this thought next week.

(FAITHFUL READER: IF YOU HAVE RELEVANT QUESTIONS YOU WOULD LIKE TO SUGGEST FOR FUTURE BLOGS PLEASE LET ME KNOW IN THE COMMENTS SECTION BELOW, OR BY E-MAIL. THOUGH I MAY NOT BE ABLE TO RESPOND TO ALL OF THEM, I WOULD BE GLAD TO KNOW WHAT IS ON YOUR MIND)

N.B. Due to a slight technical hitch the wrong version of this post was published earlier. A revised version of that post will now be appearing in instalments. My apologies for any confusion! DNB